Previously in my blog, I would write that word - infertility - and it always sounded so strange, as if maybe it didn't really apply to me. Maybe I really wasn't considered "infertile" and the well intentioned comments I have received from so many people for so long; "it will happen when it's supposed to"..."you just need to stop stressing"..."just stop trying and you will get pregnant - that's what worked for us"..."just stay positive, it will happen"...were true. Maybe these people were right, and it was all in my head.
Today was our long awaited appointment with an infertility specialist. And even though I had been waiting for this day for the past 3 months, I contemplated cancelling the appointment multiple times between then and now, figuring I would already be pregnant again...not wanting to believe that I actually needed to see an infertility specialist...and holding out hope that we would be able to have a baby without medical intervention...Today I closed that door.
The doctor had read through our paperwork, ordered copies of all prior tests from our other doctors, and confirmed that we have a 2% - 5% chance of conceiving a healthy baby on our own. Rather than crying from sadness and frustration as I write this post (as I have with all other posts), I am finally crying tears of relief because a qualified doctor in the field of infertility confirmed that I'm not crazy...that we're doing nothing wrong...and the reason for our infertility is no fault of our own. And because we are healthy and none of the tests indicate a real cause for infertility (10% of infertility cases are unknown) he is confident that we will be able to bring a healthy, beautiful baby into the world...it will just take time.
Soon we will begin monthly rounds of fertility drugs, ultrasounds, injectable hormones, blood work and IUIs (intrauterine insemination)...which has the potential to increase our chances by 10%...and, at any point we feel that we have exhausted our efforts and are ready to move on to an option with higher success rates, the doctor is ready to administer IVF (In Vitro Fertilization - 90% success rate after 3 rounds).
Yes, today I open a new door of hope for the future...and know in my heart that with the help of this doctor, sometime in the next couple years, we will finally have the baby we've always dreamed of.
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I can totally feel your huge sigh of relief...yes, clear over here in Colorado...just to know that you have found a great doctor that is going to help! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a relief to have some real answers, real options, and--most importantly--a real plan. Everything is better with a plan. Wes's dad teases me about wanting to have my ducks in a row, but I'm so much happier when I have one. We're thrilled for you can can't wait to meet your baby--whenever and however he or she comes into being.
ReplyDeleteSara
Rejoicing in your hope and thankful for a doctor who has given you answers and a plan. My heart yearns for you to have the miracle you're praying for...I love you.
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